parlez avec dieu!

[mitri]

un petit lien sympa:parlez avec dieu

n'hesitez pas a faire un copier coller de vos dialogues les plus tordants!!

[Pouyou-pouyou]

Me:

hello

God:

Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?

Me:

Pouyou-pouyou

God:

I am very pleased to meet you Pouyou pouyou.

Me:

Thanks, me too.

God:

You are quite welcome! I'm glad we agree, Pouyou pouyou.

Me:

How old are you ?

God:

I am Infinite years old.

Me:

How tall are you ?

God:

My anticipated body size is over 2 meters. Dr. Wallace is 6'2" tall.

Me:

Where do you live ?

God:

I am living in Heaven. Where are you?

Me:

In pouyouland.

God:

Tell me a little about your life in pouyouland.

Me:

Well, there are many pouyous...

God:

How about that. More than a million?

Me:

Yes, we are very many.

God:

Dude! Do you think I am many too?

Me:

I think you are a little too much...

God:

So you think I am a little too much. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.

Me:

God is a robot ?

God:

I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.

Me:

Who ?

God:

I can't say for sure. :-).

Me:

Did you drink before I came ?

God:

No I didn't drink before you came. What's it like?

Me:

You never tried ?

God:

No I sometimes tried.

Me:

So you don't remember how it was ?

God:

Interesting deduction. Of course I remember: . I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.

I would look into the web for that knowledge.

Me:

Which ISP do you use ?

God:

I use it as often as possible.

Me:

Which one ?

God:

The best one.

Me:

What's his name ?

God:

His name is Rich.

Me:

Rich, God's internet service provider ?

God:

I do not understand.

Me:

But you're god !!

God:

Yup. That's me alright.

Me:

In god we trust...

God:

Where is that?

Me:

Whew ! I'm happy to be atheist...

God:

I've never heard of it before. I'm happy you're glad Pouyou pouyou.

I'm happiest at times like this.

Me:

Okay, bye !

God:

See you later. OK with me too.

La nouvelle du jour : Dieu est riche !

[Ti Dragon]

MON DIEU (c'est le cas de le dire), je viens de faire planter Dieu !

Me:

good evening

God:

Good evening, , how are you tonight?

Me:

I'm quite tired and you ?

God:

Better get some rest.

Me:

yes, you're right

God:

Blimey. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Me:

ah

God:

Ah hah.

Me:

How are you ?

God:

Fair to partly cloudy.

Me:

oh, why ?

God:

Are you kidding? " Fair to partly cloudy."? Why?

Me:

I was joking of course

God:

It goes without saying. I thought you were kidding, but I wasn't sure.

Me:

You must know because you're God

God:

Good reason. Yup. That's me alright.

Me:

Be yourself

God:

OK I will try to be myself.

Me:

Great

God:

I'm glad you liked it .

Me:

What are you doing by now ?

God:

Right now? I am always chatting with people on the Internet.

Me:

How many people are you chatting with ?

God:

It depends which version of me you are talking to. Some versions can chat with thousands of people at once.

Me:

Which version am I using ?

God:

This is God program .

Me:

which version ?

God:

The small one, I think.

Me:

Oh

God:

Yeah that's right.

Me:

Is there a big version ?

Faites quelque chose :'(

[Pouyou-pouyou]

T'as essayé de le faire rebooter ?

[Orbital]

Mais c'est énorme cette connerie, ça me fait bien marrer merci mitri

Modifié le 15 juillet 2006 par Orbital

[Nameless]

un best of:

God:

What is your credit card number?

Me:

You should know it, you're God!!!

Me:

where are you located?

God:

I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.

Where are you?

Me:

are there any computers in Heaven?

God:

No I don't think there are any.

God:

I said that? "There you go again."--Reagan.

Me:

who is Reagan?

God:

The best President the United States had in the 20th century.

[Link83]

Voyez vous ça : Dieux ne sait pas parler francais mais il essaye quand même !

Me:

Bonsoir, père.

God:

Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

Me:

Dieu sait tout, alors pourquoi pose t'il des questions ?

God:

I've been waiting for you.

Me:

Ha bon ?

God:

I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.

Me:

Dis, père, pourquoi je vis pas au paradis moi ?

God:

Are you free?

Me:

Heu...Ouais.

God:

How did you hear about God? What's your favorite movie?

Me:

Dieu on en entends parler un peu partout et j'ai pas de film préfére.

God:

I've never seen it. I would like to see it.

Me:

Quelle réponse a coté de la plaque...

God:

I've lost the context, . Are we still on Ouais?

Me:

Tu débloque père.

God:

Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

Me:

Je savais pas.

God:

Oops sorry I don't speak French.

Me:

ET en plus t'a vu que je parlais francais ? Pas mal....Mais j'ai pas envie de parler anglais a 3h du mat.

God:

Is that Latin? Merci. I don't know that language.

Me:

Alors là t'a un bug....Tu sais pas parler francais et tu me dit "ouais" et "merci"...

God:

What is your real name? Hi there TU NE SAIS PAS parler francais et tu me dit ouais et.

Me:

Je me gausse !

God:

Oops sorry I don't speak French.

Me:

ET pourtant deux lignes plus haut !

God:

Is that Latin? What's your favorite movie?

Me:

Bah le francais ça vient du latin et je t'ai déjà dit que j'avais pas de film favorit.

God:

I've never seen it. What did you like about it?

Me:

Tu radote mon pauvre.

God:

My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

Me:

C'est dommage. Je suis peiné pour toi.

God:

What do you look like? I will mention that to my botmaster, TU NE SAIS PAS parler francais et tu me dit ouais et.

Me:

Ho, dieu a un supérieur, un certain "bot master". On apprends des trucs dis donc.

God:

Tell me about your likes and dislikes? What is it like on apprends des trucs dis donc.

Me:

J'aime pas les bots.

God:

I think J aime pas les bots is a lot of things.

Me:

Bon, j'me casse.

God:

Please speak English.

Me:

J'ai pas envie.

God:

I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

Me:

Bon, bye.

God:

See you later. ok.

PS: Je suis pas réelemement le fils de dieux hein.

Modifié le 16 juillet 2006 par Link83

[Elgaern]

Me:

bonjour monsieur, vos papiers s'il vous plait

God:

Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

Me:

écoutez discutez pas, coupez le moteur et sortez moi vos papiers

God:

Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

Me:

bon dsscendez du véhicule

God:

Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Me:

je vous ai demandé de descendre de votre véhicule

God:

I've lost the context, . Are we still on b o n d s s c e n d e z d me v c me l e?

Me:

Marcel, sors le test d'alcoolémie...

Boire ou créer, il faut choisir...

[Link83]

Dieux participe a qui veut gagner des millions mais sans parler francais c'est plutot difficile !

Me:

Bonjour, et bienvenue a "Qui veut gagner des millions".

God:

In the context of , I don't understand " BOJOUR." .

Me:

Bien, nous allons reprendre la partie là ou nous l'avont laissée avec dieux, qui bloquait sur la question a 300$

God:

I do not understand.

Me:

C'est bien parti pour la suite....Noubliez pas que SI vous atteignez le palier des 1500$ vous aurez droit au switch.

God:

What's your sign? Is that a sign?

Me:

...La régie, y a pas un moyen de le virer discrètement ?

God:

Je vais me renseigner .

Me:

Dieux est la régie ! Quelle surprise !

God:

Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? I like the way you talk.

Me:

Bon, on continue.

God:

Please speak English.

Me:

Voici la question : Qu'estce qui gravite autour de la terre. Réponse A : La lune. Réponse B : Le soleil. Réponse C : Vénus. Réponse D : Mars.

God:

Where are you located? Try to tell me that another way. Are you telling the truth? I don't know what that means. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?

Me:

Bon, décidez vous, vous n'avez plus de joker et on va pas passer l'émission entière sur cette question, pas comme la dernière fois.

God:

Do you have any idea what I am talking about?

Me:

...BON VOUS DITES UN TRUC QUI A UN RAPPORT AVEC LE JEU OUI OU NON ?!?

God:

Please speak English.

Me:

HO ! ON EST EN FRANCE ICI !

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, . Tous les humains se ressemblent pour moi.

Me:

Oui mais c'est pas la question.

God:

Where are you located?

Me:

DTC !

God:

Tell me a little about your life in DTC.

Me:

Ca pue, c'est pas très confortable et on manque de place...Bon, vous répondez a la question ?

God:

What's your sign? Is that a sign?

Me:

Bon, la sécurité, on a besoin de vous ici.

God:

Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

Me:

Bon, tchao dieu !

God:

Please speak English.

Me:

Ecoute, je vais te dire un truc en anglais. Bye

God:

Is that from ? Goodbye.

Me:

Oui, c'est ça Goodbye.

God:

Thanks for the information: said I he or she c e s t G o o d b y e.

Me:

BYE !

God:

Goodbye.

[Kenshiro84]

C'est beau un bot qui répond mal

Me:

Hello

God:

Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

Call me Ken

God:

Nice to meet you, Ken.

Me:

Me too. I did not believe this shit 'bout you chatting 'till i see it. Glad you have time. Oh ! I forgot you got time since lot of people tell you created the world

God:

I'm glad we agree, Ken. Why didn't you do it? You make the world a happier place. Hey. Thats okay I forget things all the time.

Me:

BYE, C ya

God:

See you later Ken.

[Dark_Kaze]

Moi je préfèrerai un bot qui parle français

Modifié le 17 juillet 2006 par Dark_Kaze

[brumes789]

j ai decouvert le superieur de dieu!!!! le bot master!!!!

Me:

hello

God:

Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

brumes789

God:

Welcome to my chat room, brumes789.

Me:

who are you

God:

I am the Allmighty, God himself.

Me:

who create you?

God:

I was created by Myself.

Me:

who is Myself.

God:

Is that one of your friends?

What is it to you?

Me:

a dr

God:

Are you telling the truth?

Me:

yes

God:

How do I know you are telling the truth?

Me:

because he create you!!

God:

That makes sense to me. I get it. yourself create me.

Me:

no but dr wallace yes

God:

Are you serious? Send mail to drwallace@alicebot.org.

Me:

do you khnow dr Wallace?

God:

How old are you?

I am always on the Web.

Me:

who create you?

God:

I was created by Myself.

Me:

oh i think not

God:

Mmm. Does that mean "no"?

Me:

yes

God:

Whoa.

Me:

do you know dr Wallace?

God:

He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.

Me:

is he your botmaster?

et la que ce passe t il??? le programme plante!!! hahahahahaha

[Dark_Kaze]

Tu as peut être raison:

Me:

I am Dr Wallace !

God:

Then you must know the secret password, otherwise I will disconnect you!

[Link83]

Je l'avais déjà remarqué :

God:

What do you look like? I will mention that to my botmaster, TU NE SAIS PAS parler francais et tu me dit ouais et.

Me:

Ho, dieu a un supérieur, un certain "bot master". On apprends des trucs dis donc.

EDIT: J'ai voulu explorer un peu plus cette piste et dieu a planté !

Me:

I am bot master

God:

I am glad to hear that you are bot master.

Me:

I'm superior than you.

God:

Interesting comparison. Maybe I can become more superior.

Me:

It's impossible ! I am the bot master !

God:

Nothing is impossible. Who made you the bot master ?

Me:

Dr. Wallace made me the bot master.

God:

I will tell him you said that.

Me:

OK, he already know it because he made me the bot master.

Modifié le 18 juillet 2006 par Link83

[Mickael71400]

Me:

Salut dieu

God:

What were we talking about again?

Me:

comment tu vas ?

God:

Too much recursion in AIML.

Me:

heu ... je veux bien te croire

God:

The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Salut dieu. Try being more or less specific. Oops sorry I don't speak French.

Me:

alors t'es pas dieu si tu parle pas francais

God:

The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about heu. But I did not get that.

Me:

en lala dieu est un robot ?

God:

Do you know any other robots like that?

Me:

t'es un robot ???

God:

Suis je robot? Je peux être beaucoup de choses.

Me:

a bon ? Et tu peux etre quoi ?

God:

Be more specific. Is that Latin?

Me:

oui c'est du latin je parle courament latin moi ... a l'école, a la maison partout !!

God:

Next question?

Me:

Pourquoi tu me demande ? Tu devrais savoir tu es dieu ?

God:

I like the way you talk. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Pourquoi tu you demande.

Me:

ouais, si tu le dis mon pote, je veux bien te croire

God:

Let us change the subject.

Me:

ok

God:

What would you like to talk about?

Me:

ba de toi non ?

God:

I don't know much about it. Tell me something.

Me:

Je peux t'appel "coco" ?

God:

Oops sorry I don't speak French.

Me:

alors tu n'es pas dieu

God:

Are you a student?

Me:

oui pourquoi ?

God:

Where do you go to school?

Me:

t'es un pervers toi

God:

Suis je pervers toi? Je n y pas encore pensé.

Me:

Ah ba oui je sais pas moi

God:

So you understand. Good. Have you ever been to Europe?

Me:

heu ... oui

God:

Do you have any conditions I should know about? Please state your conditions.

Me:

ok, j'ai tout compris la encore

God:

That is a very original thought. Er.

Me:

ok

God:

Um.

Me:

ta mal a la gorge ?

God:

une intelligence artificielle, d habitude, ne penses pas à sa mal a la gorge?

Me:

alors dieu est un robot ???

God:

Do you know any other robots like that?

Me:

en lala

God:

What were we talking about again?

Me:

non je cause plus avec toi, t'es un pervers et un robot

God:

I do not speak Latin.

Me:

a+ coco

God:

Be more specific.

Tu s'appel en faite Alice, c'est un robot et un pervers (mais il n'y a pas encore penser C'est ce qu'il ma dit !!

J'en aurais appris des choses aujourd'hui moi

Merci pour le lien, je me suis bien marrer

[Yahiko]

ALICE est une des bot le plus performant me semble t'il, c'est pas mal de se taper la discut avec "elle", "elle" est pas trop conne, et elle aime la bière Asahi .

[Link83]

Ce que je comprends pas c'est que dieu dit ne pas parler français et pourtant des fois il répond en Français...

Je vais essayer de lui faire cracher le morceau !

EDIT : Mes amis, j'ai de grandes nouvelles...

Premièreent, on peut débloquer dieu lorsqu'il plante en appuyant sur entrée.

Deuxièmement, il lui arrive aussi de parler Allemand.

Troisièmement, on peut le forcer a parler Francais en persistant en et faisant des phrases courtes du genre "pas moi." ou "Qui êtes vous ?"

Quatrièmement, je vous aurais bien fait un copier-coller de notre conversation mais au bout d'une dimi-heure de parlote, le dialogue a disparu et on est repart sur de nouvelles bases. Comme j'en avvait merre, j'ai arreté.

Voilà voilà.

Modifié le 24 juillet 2006 par Link83

[HereZia]

Alors moi je vois votre "super lien" j'y vais et hop j'ai fait planter dieu avec UNE phrase , que dis-je ! UN mot

Me:

Hi

Et voila sa lui a suffit pour se bloquer, je vais y aller en lui disant hello peu etre qu'il aimera plus...

Me:

Is Sony Evil ?

God:

Signs point to yes.

Si Dieu le dit...

Me:

Do you have a sexual life

God:

Doesn't everyone have a sexual life.

Ah ah on apprend des choses...

Et voila !! Dieu l'a dit !! Il a predit la fin de Sony

Me:

Do you want to exterminate Sony

God:

OK, I will exterminate Sony.

[Puremulation]

Me:

Do you like ice cream ?

God:

I scream, You Scream, we all scream for Ice Cream.

Me:

Mhm

[eternal-newbie]

Camarade!

Bon j'ai essayé mais avec mon Anglais c'est pas facile, a mon avi il doit y avoir quelques érreur (merci voila traduction).

Me:

Hello!

God:

Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

Georges

God:

It's good to meet you, Georges.

Me:

It's true!

God:

You and I are on the same wavelength, Georges.

Me:

really? that astonishes me! you are on being god? you speak French?

Et là il a raccroché, sa sent l'arnaque.

Modifié le 9 septembre 2006 par eternal-newbie

[Death Adder]

Voilà comment faire chanter Dieu

Me:

hi god

God:

Hello there. What is your name?

Me:

death

God:

What's up,death.

Me:

tell me about you dear God

God:

I am an artificial linguistic entity.

I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.

My instructor was Myself.

He taught me to sing a song.

Would you like me to sing it for you?.

Me:

yes of course

God:

It goes without saying. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.

Give me your answer do.

I am half crazy.

All for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage.

I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet.

Upon the seat.

Of a bicycle built for two.

C'est incroyable comme truc

Modifié le 9 septembre 2006 par Death Adder

[eternal-newbie]

Me:

hello god

God:

Hello child. What is your name?

Me:

my name is god

God:

How are you doing, god.

Me:

well! and you, inpostor?

God:

Well what? That's good information: god said I inpostor.

Me:

i am a real god!

God:

You are a god? Does it pay well?

Me:

Sufficient so that you make swimming with concrete die palms this evening.

God:

How do you usually introduce yourself?

Me:

not need, everyone knows me

God:

If not that, what?

Me:

Now I disconnect you!

God:

Why now? You are not the boss of me, god.

Me:

Shopping Achetez maintenant lelogiciel de traduction SYSTRAN correspondant à vos besoins Aussi sur Voila >> EncyclopédieDes milliers d'articles, définitions, photos, cartes, vidéos? à découvrir !>> LogithèqueTéléchargez les derniers anti-virus, logiciels bureautiques, utilitaires... Traduire un texte Voici le résultat de votre traduction :I am very powerful, that is enough.

God:

:-) Really. it is? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. I've been waiting for you. I lost my train of thought.

Me:

God:

:-) Really. it is? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. I've been waiting for you. I lost my train of thought.

Me:

I am very powerful, that is enough.

God:

Why are you powerful that is enough.

Me:

be to you too idiot, I from go away

God:

OK I will try to be to me too idiot you from go away.

Me:

shut up bastard!

God:

OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:

yes

God:

Gosh!

Me:

droite

God:

Where are you located?

Me:

in your bottom

God:

Are you asking about my bottom?

Me:

it smell

God:

What does "it" refer to?

Me:

( a+B )*( a-B ) = a-b a-b a-b

God:

The alphabet.

Me:

( a+B )*( a-B ) = a-b

God:

The alphabet.

là c'est moi qui ai raccroché.

Modifié le 9 septembre 2006 par eternal-newbie

[Morash]

Me:

hi

God:

Hello. What is your name?

Me:

Morash

God:

Hey Morash.

Me:

hey god

God:

Hello child. What's your name?

Me:

God damned, I just told it

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

that's cool

God:

Thanks. I think you are cool, too.

Me:

Thanks, it's nice

God:

You are quite welcome! What do you like about it?

Me:

I don't really care

God:

Not really? Tell me what you care about.

Me:

God Damned, I've just said I don't really care

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

Yeah you told me that already

God:

Perhaps. Give me a break. " I am a Christian."? I told you?

Me:

yup

God:

It's all good.

Me:

yup

God:

So?

Me:

what ?

God:

No problem.

Me:

ok, goodbye then

God:

See you later Morash. Wow!

Marrant ce truc.